S: front squat - 95lbs. WOD: lowest rep is score for 3 rounds of bike cals/push ups/double unders/row cals/burpee

This class was fun and incredibly hard. Warm up was a ton of stretches, and wrist stretches, which I didn't know was a thing. Though, it makes sense that it would be. We did all of these bc our strength portion was dedicated to front squats. Exciting! We had 15 minutes to get to a max weight. I didn't get there, but my partner did. I ended with 95lb squat. So, I can't wait to do it again and see where I should really be at. 

AAANNNNDDDDDDDD I squatted all the way down. Finally. The weight helps a ton, but I need to be able to get there w/o the weight. I think today will be wall balls, so bam, more squats. I really do love the lifting. It's fun, challenging, and doesn't make me feel like a complete failure like all the body weight and endurance stuff does. I was crying through most of the WOD. Ugh, anyway. Lifting = great.

That was the fun part. The incredibly hard part was the WOD which consisted of: 3 rounds, max rep per round, 1 min each obstacle per round, then 1 min rest - assault bike, pushup, double under, row, burpee. So, I do all 5 activities in a row, spending a minute on each, and then I take a minute rest. Then start over. Each completed rep counts, and we add on per event, so our total reps for the 5 minutes is our score. Mine was 23, 15, 13. I lost some time bc of controlling my breathing, and I lost points every round bc I couldn't do even one double under. Just couldn't get the rope around me fast enough. But, first time. Hopefully will get better. 

I really do think my little panic attacks are psychosomatic. I see how bad I am, I start panicking. When I panic I can't breathe. No breathing stokes the panic, etc etc etc. I REALLY need to get it through my skull that I will be last in everything for some time. And that is OK. I am improving each time I go - squat a little lower, jump rope a little longer. THAT is the focus, not loosing to other people who have been doing this for months now. If I can make myself believe that there's no reason to get upset, I think I could perform much better. So, another thing to work on.

WOD:

GOAL: 1 min per activity of bike cals, push ups, double unders, row cals, burpees. 3 rounds.

ACTUAL: completed zero double unders on any round. R1) 23, R2) 15, R3) 13.

Strength: Max squat atm 95lb